Friday, August 7, 2009

when mysogyny meets homicidal narcissism

If you haven't heard the sad story of the man who walked into a fitness club, killed or wounded over a dozen women, and then shot himself, you may want to miss out on this particular episode of rubbernecking. If you'd like to hear some thoughts anyway, here goes...

The main story is that this man has been lonely for 20+ years, and blamed the hot women of the world for causing his misery. Story here:

It's very possible that this man was simply nuts, and that he would have found some reason to resort to mass murder eventually (insurance salesmen, a company who fired him, etc). In any case, his particular poison was trying to find a hot woman to love him. He sought advice from various pick-up artist communities, but didn't have much luck.

It seems that the pick-up community, while claiming him as one of their own, is primarily painting his actions with contempt, which is hopeful:
"If anything, it's a sad example of why people labelled a "nice guy" really aren't, because they're covering up a lot of ugly truths about themselves. This was someone's mom, someone's sister, someone's daughter. Just your run of the mill average to hot women trying to keep in shape, fighting age. How angry do you have to be to want to destroy a family out of pure hate and selfishness, and not be around to take the responsibility for it?
Women are pretty savvy about a guy's body language. Sometimes people give you an unsettling feeling even if they did nothing bad to you."

This man was unable or unwilling to grasp that his misery was the result of his own actions, instead placing the blame on women in general for not being attracted to him. To any woman, this sort of creep factor is the kind of thing that broadcasts itself to anyone within a mile radius, instantly negating his chances for 'conquest'.

Mostly I find myself glad that this man didn't manage to draw a partner into his web of creepiness. What would have happened then? Maybe fewer people would have died, but I expect that violence and loss would be much the same.

I'm also reminded of one of my favorite sites of all time, Heartless Bitches International. Their section on "nice guys" is immensely thought-provoking and well-written, and serves as a useful primer:

Give the site a glance if you have time. It's both educational and hopeful, and I think very relevant to this tragedy as astutely identified by poster
"sdnightfly" of

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