"First, let me give you a tip for free: If you're so convinced your partner is cheating on you that you're moved to indulge in technology-assisted snooping, unless you are living in a madcap romantic comedy, you are probably not going to learn that his strange behavior is part of an elaborate engagement plan and/or a plot to demonstrate how much you mean to him. So "peace of mind" might be a bit of a lofty goal here. A more realistic aim would be "finding out the truth you already basically knew in a way that makes you feel like a huge jerk, at least if you have a soul." But if you're still interested, let's take a look at the totally not stalky suggestions for spying on the person you ostensibly trust most in the world."
I love all things that denigrate the complete unreality of romantic comedy movies, and this article is a double-whammy for *also* denigrating the weirdness that is our obsession with celebrity sexuality. Thank you Broadsheet.
As Dan Savage would say, if you're really concerned enough to employ such privacy invading tactics to snoop on your man, consider that you might need to DTMFA. Oh, and then go get some counseling.
Other product pitches gone hilariously wrong:
"WHAT MIGHT YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH OPRAH WINFREY AND CAROLINE KENNEDY?
IF YOU ANSWERED JIGGLY ARMS FLABuLESSU.com HAS THE SOLUTION
What could I possibly have in common with successful women? Oh, right: Arm fat. Fuck you. Wait! This one comes illustrated, with a helpful red arrow:"
I found your address on the web, and thought you might be interested in purchasing an emailing list of Freemasons…"
Both from jezebel